I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
