Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
