good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
