At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
