hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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