my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize