sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize