i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
