Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
