i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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