Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
