problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
FUCK WHALES
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