Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
