super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
