I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
