Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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