Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
