I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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