Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
