Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
