It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
