Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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