even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
