piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
