I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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