when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
