Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
