My hair reeks of homosexuality.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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