If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Bring me that man meat
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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