So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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