You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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