They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
