I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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