that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
