I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
