just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you are never too drunk for berry picking
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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