I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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