had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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