Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
