Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He better not be in your backpack
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
