She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
