He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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