I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
