If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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