WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
