and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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