I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize