I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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