I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
two words: eviction party
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
