My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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