you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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