For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
