is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
