I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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