I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
