why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
