Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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