Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
