I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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