So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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