I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
