You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
