My hand turned me down
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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